Chatting With Emy

Studying abroad has provided its host of challenges, but the most alienating is being surrounded by native students who also attend Veritas Universidad. The language barrier makes communication difficult, and sometimes scary, but every single time I've taken the leap of faith into a conversation with a Tico, I've emerged on the other side with a feeling of friendship and accomplishment.

One Thursday, I noticed a girl standing alone smoking a cigarette outside Veritas. I approached her timidly, using my little Spanish to ask her name and if maybe I could also have a cigarette. She surprised me by answering in English, and my surprise took the best of me as I began rambling sentences filled with English spoken way too fast. I thought about how I felt when Ticos spoke Spanish ridiculously fast and I was only able to catch the first couple of words, but lost the idea entirely because my translating mind could not keep up with the rapid pace. I immediately slowed my speech and started asking Emy a few basic questions.

My first was how long she had been studying language, because she was extremely talented in her sentence structure and in listening to me when I finally slowed down. She told me she had been studying since she was a young girl, and that when she was a teenager she got a job working as a phone call center receiver in Leon where she had ample opportunity to practice her English. Now, a young woman studying digital animation at Veritas, she was working as a customer service call center receiver for Amazon in San Jose. Her language skills opened doors of opportunity to jobs only available to a knowledgable speaker of English and Spanish, and was very present in her conversation with me.

I asked what was the best tip possible when learning a language, and she answered with, "Practice, practice, practice! Nothing is more important than using what your learning with a native speaker." I smiled and thought back to all the struggles I've had thus far in Costa Rica, and my achievements in applying what I learned in class to my reality.

We left the topic of language, and I learned that Emy was into heavy metal music and we shared some of our favorite artists before she told me she was about to take a taxi home and prepare for her night at work. I thanked her for her time and her cigarette.

My time with Emy filled me with a sense of gratitude for the opportunities available to me. Walking home, I was washed away by my deeper inspiration to become fluent in a foreign language so that one day I would be able to clearly communicate my ideas to a different culture as Emy did with me.

art is culture, culture is art

¡mi familia tica!

Studying abroad has been so much more than classes in a new country and adventures on the weekend. It has gifted me with a family that I've come to know and love more than I ever imagined. I live alongside two other study abroad students and our familia tica, an adorable group of my mama tica, papa tica, David, and Daniella.

While stimulating and fun, being apart of a native Costa Rican family with basic Spanish skills has its challenges. I have learned how to communicate with my mama tica using a translator at times when necessary (like when I asked mama tica how she met papa tico), and using the skills I learned in class to talk about our days, our likes and dislikes, and what to get David for his birthday...

Our conversations may be basic without a dictionary to help me, but the small talk mean the most because it is a reminder that I am in a new country, learning a language, and trying my hardest to make a connection.

It's a celebration every morning when I ask my mama tica to repeat a phrase or ask her how to say a verb I'm unfamiliar with. As shown this morning when our papa tico was talking about playing the guitar and I wanted to share that I missed my violin that I left in the states. "Cómo se dice I miss?" There was a small hesitation as mama tica thought about my question, then understanding lit her face and she answered, "echar de menos, entonces echo de menos mí violin." A small statement, but one that took teamwork to share across the language barrier.

Being here has taught me how much I take my ability to communicate in English for granted, and also given me inspiration to dutifully learn Spanish so that I may share my ideas with another culture.

sploosh!

Only a few days after settling in my new home, I clumsily allowed my cell phone to bounce out of my pocket and into my tica family's koi pond. I rushed down the stairs and grasped into the water hoping to touch the familiar shape, but instead only felt slimy fish. My papa tico found a net and helped me fish it out, but unfortunately the life already left my phone.

I wasn't as upset as I expected to be, but rather I felt a relief.

My adventure to Costa Rica was intended to be an escape from the expectations I believed existed at home, and losing my main connection to my friends and family felt refreshing. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through facebook and instagram,  my eyes took in the world around me. Without a small electronic screen to escape into, my attention focused on vastly unique gates that surrounded each house. I stopped and smelled the hibiscus and I smiled and said '¡hola!' to every stranger I passed.

Of course, being without a phone created difficulties with communication. It was a challenge to get in touch with my roommates or my mama tica to let them know I would be home late for dinner, but this forced me to think outside of the box and find a different method to achieve my goal.

It's been three weeks since that fateful day, and I once again have a cell phone. When it was in transit, I was ecstatic. Now that it is here, I feel discontent with myself when I absent-mindedly open snapchat and consider watching the lives of my friends. I consider downloading instagram, but I do not want to scroll through a virtual representation of my friends. My heart yearns to live freely, mindfully consuming my time with the people physically around me and opening myself to tangible experiences.

un påjaro

october 1st, you have been mucho bien to me. journey through a coffee plantation, a tropical rainforest, an active volcanic crater,

my reading list

while short, I know this list of books is more than enough to put me on the right track and give growth to my spirit and my character.

• Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
• Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

if you have any books that you recommend, please pass them my way! 

one more week!

seven days stand between me and my home for the next three months.

seven more days to reflect on what the past few months have taught me, to set goals for what I want to gain from my studies abroad, and to pack and manicure the final loose strands before this adventure begins.

Spring semester ended in early May. I've have four months to do with as I please, and I've learned a lot, even amidst the pitfalls I created for myself, by myself. 

I learned the pain of love, and the pain of soothing my troubles with things outside of myself.

I learned the hard value of a dollar as I laid grass in the summer sun, and as I rung up groceries tucked away from the heat. 

I learned the true meaning of family and support when I needed it most, when I least expected it to be there. And its bonds held so tightly, comforting me more than I ever imagined family could.

I learned that its okay to admit you need help - it takes courage to see a problem and take responsibility for changing it.  

Let me throw all the cliches I have been living by in here for good measure:

There can be no light without darkness. The greater the struggle, the greater the triumph.

In seven days I am moving to a new country, living with a new family, going to a new school, learning a new language. Pulling myself out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to grow as a person.

In this I hope to gain perspective. I will learn to be more open and accepting of others and myself - accepting reality on its terms and making the most out of what I have. I am working towards a solid state of mind, a sanctuary that grows happy positive thoughts that build me toward my goals instead of focusing on my mistakes.

My past does not define me, it is only a map of where I have been and an example of who I do not want to be. I am leaving as an empty spirit who's word means little, and I am going to come back a flourishing soul who means what they say. Who does what they say they are going to do. 

I know that I do not need a new place to change me, but this is going to change me and I am opening my heart to it. I need to be changed. I am changing. Every day, every breath. I am better, I am more. 

But I am going to come back being more than I ever imagined I could be.