seven days stand between me and my home for the next three months.
seven more days to reflect on what the past few months have taught me, to set goals for what I want to gain from my studies abroad, and to pack and manicure the final loose strands before this adventure begins.
Spring semester ended in early May. I've have four months to do with as I please, and I've learned a lot, even amidst the pitfalls I created for myself, by myself.
I learned the pain of love, and the pain of soothing my troubles with things outside of myself.
I learned the hard value of a dollar as I laid grass in the summer sun, and as I rung up groceries tucked away from the heat.
I learned the true meaning of family and support when I needed it most, when I least expected it to be there. And its bonds held so tightly, comforting me more than I ever imagined family could.
I learned that its okay to admit you need help - it takes courage to see a problem and take responsibility for changing it.
Let me throw all the cliches I have been living by in here for good measure:
There can be no light without darkness. The greater the struggle, the greater the triumph.
In seven days I am moving to a new country, living with a new family, going to a new school, learning a new language. Pulling myself out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to grow as a person.
In this I hope to gain perspective. I will learn to be more open and accepting of others and myself - accepting reality on its terms and making the most out of what I have. I am working towards a solid state of mind, a sanctuary that grows happy positive thoughts that build me toward my goals instead of focusing on my mistakes.
My past does not define me, it is only a map of where I have been and an example of who I do not want to be. I am leaving as an empty spirit who's word means little, and I am going to come back a flourishing soul who means what they say. Who does what they say they are going to do.
I know that I do not need a new place to change me, but this is going to change me and I am opening my heart to it. I need to be changed. I am changing. Every day, every breath. I am better, I am more.
But I am going to come back being more than I ever imagined I could be.
